[[*PARADOXICATED*]]

Thursday, September 29, 2005

[[pheeeeeewyeyywywwwww..wadz dat???]]

Beats da hell outta me.....im freakin bored this daes i donnoe wads up wit me!! well prolly iv just been pretty low on life lately...dat im kinda getting sick of it...well..to a certain extend......

Anyhow...i m still freakin bored...i donnoe wad its gonna take for me to just get back wat i once had..oh well like desree once sang...life oh life... okaie..dat didnt fit at all... honestly..i wish i could have it all....but i noe its not possible..my friendz dis daez are almost total freaks...well..der are afew huz rather blunt...oh well wadever....whhakkzz...im bored of this!!!

well i guess...u juz gotta learn to accept some stuff that you could never change...lets start with my frenz...juz having to be born like dat..watta pity..but whatever..its your life...

still..i miss real friends..the only thing thats real right now are my family...well weve got bee too...mummyz having doubts of me being wit him...but oh well...i guess we'll have to see till his done with his NS....dude...ive got one more paper to go...and dats the beginning of my 1 mth break...so what can i get outta this 1 hole mth????? my sentiments exactly....i donnoe.....I just wish some one would tear down my insipid life..bring me away to a faraway land...lets cast aspersions on other people for fun..how about that for a change in my view of life...nuts...totally......unacceptable i noe but right....i still donnoe. juz like da title of this entry...i am still lost.......i donnoe nutz...!!!!!! EVEN ZILCH FEER THAT MATTER!!!!!!!!!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|1:41 PM|

Thursday, September 22, 2005

[[Ur young...and you donnoe anything..]]

Aint riting bout that gig-alogy facts...its o so plain boring..and third holocaust..hes in jail..what more could i want..
-paradoxical-

He juz turned 14 and thinks he noes everything... well, i remembered the first time i felt like dat...wen i was 14..but now that im 18, i still dont feel like i quite knew everything yet. I m tokking bout my one and only younger B-R-O. Well of course its that age that he is in his most dysfunctional and confused state of mind. Haha..i noe what a thing to say rite.. but it is...! well, ive seen sons clinging onto their mothers like anything...untill theyre married...but he..this jerky assy wannabe..is pushing her literally out of his ife..and to think about it, hez only bloody hell turned 14! Aargh..is he experiencing the middle child syndrome? huakkszzz. but im the middle child!! ohh..kids!

You noe i wonder the grief of a mother when she noes how her son truly feels about her... juz a mere 'handwave' is all she got when she asked if she was love by him.. how cruel could he juz be. well, i never said i was the perfect child or daughter. But atleast i didnt screw ard bout her behind her back. have i? prolly when i was younger and dysfunctional...I SAID...PROLLY! BUT still, i didnt think what i did was ryte.. i wont defend myself for being like 'oh mother! could you shut up!' infact, i regret behaving in such a way....but how..does one really show how she truly cares?? i donnoe..prolly after retaliation sets in only then ill noe how i'll react. nope..i aint sooo keen on that part of motherhood.
-paradoxical-

But one thing will remain o sooooo true till i die...no matter how ive ever bbeeen mad and angry with her...i have never in my experience of rage that i actually said i didnt really love her..which is not true..i love her...its just its weird telling your mom 'i love you' in person.. but seems oh so easy on bee.. hakz.. latar.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:01 PM|

[[*The Fading Soul*]]

Name: PARADOX
Bdae: MARCH 87,22
Nicks: nahh..
Skool: College Central BIshan
Contact: fareshah@hotmail.com
Status: ATTACHED

[[*My Adores*]]

Food: SR CAKES
Drinks: Apple Juice
Pastimes: Blogging, Werkin, Shoppin, WINDOW Shop, Spend Money, Movies
People: MUMMY DADDY TOT BRO SIS SHAAKIR BB

[[*My Detests*]]

People: PATHTETIC DESPERATE PPL
Things: ......
Food: .......

[[*Music's Playing*]]

//visit Iwebmusic for music

[[*My Past Memories*]]

[[*The Conversations*]]

[[*My Friends*]]

[[*Credits*]]