[[*PARADOXICATED*]]

Thursday, February 23, 2006

[[my conscience....My insipid life...]]

Everydae, i c u with a heavy heart...wen its over, i feel free once again...and dread for tomorrow to come..and once again estatic at the exit..

-paradox-

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|1:36 PM|

[[MY IRONY..]]

MY IRONY, MY LIFE, MYSELF,MY LOVE

-Paradox-

THere are alwaes things in life that you plan, but not alwaes all goes the wae you want it to be, in other words, none of it can be perfect. So when i tried making my life perfect, i figured that i was struggling to fight the nature or facts of life. Which of coz is the included equation of everything we do. To not expect anything or everything for that matter to be perfect.

My subject, my irony, pROVES THAT things alwaes dont go as i planned it to be. For instance, my plan was to be in poly by this yr, still, i find my self stuck here, which is not a bad thing, considering where it will or may take me to..Im not complaining, its just that i expect too much. I was taught to have high expectations and live it high..no matter how long its gonna take, my family are all soo supportive. But sometimes, well, most times for me...i just cant have enough...its like you want the moon but earth is all you will ever have kinda feeling. I do get frustrated at times but sometimes i just go like 'yadiyai....f u..' U noe wat im saying.

Well, i guess lesson learnt here is that, Thou shalt not keep ones expectations high, For if thou shalt fall, it will hurt deeply.

-paradoxical-

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|8:49 AM|

Sunday, February 19, 2006

[[my fairytale.....or not..]]

I had a dream when i was young, that my life was going to be a fairytale....

Or not....

-Paradoxical-

Im sure we've all had a sudden realisation of a great fairytale, that sweeps you off your feet and sends you flying to the heavens.....BULLSHIT...

Snap out of it..i do not get the idea of potraying such a scene when you know that nothing could ever be perfect... Nothing. Not even 'the' perfect person that you think you know to be perfect.

But somehow, you just cant help yourself...you keep on falling into the same realm just to escape the painful reality without yourself realising, the path you've decided to choose, the minute, you decided to compromise your heart. You thought youre doing the right thing,eventhough you know along the wae theres gonna be some regret or a whole load of it.. But it just feels so wrong to be true to yourself at the expenseof breaking someone else's heart that you noe loves you so dearly. You could only pray that that person would realise it on his own accord and let you go...willingly...painfully but sincerely...NOT GONNA HAPPEN...

Lets face it, everyone is just too caught up in their own desires and selfishness that even affairs of the heart has become something superficial and full of pathetic vendettas that revives from something evil...or their own lack of sensitivity...

I love romantic movies and i admit that i do hope to get sweeped off my feet by a gorgeous guy hu'll love you fer everything that you are and let myself be indulged sinfully to the depth of romance where ill get disappointed the minute i snap myself back to reality. However the paradox here is that, your reality is what that has been planned for you by god. And its your destiny. You cant change your destiny becoz god noes that its the best for you.

I have tried to build my own fairytale, but i ended up being thrown to the dungeon where evil will win over good andso i have decided to settle for a commoner, hull appreciate me, and shown me the real meaning of true love. But i have to instill patience to myself for i had started out impatiently. N now i ve ran outta time for i am halfwae up the dungeon... only now, there is no turning back. . i m looking for a way out, a trace of sunshine...a ray of hope, a light of love.......

From my self...

Im so hollow baby, im so hollow..

I donnoe wad went rong, but somewhere down the road, i noe ill lear from it but rite now im just dumbfounded and dragged in by my conscience and guilt..

-Paradoxical-

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|12:51 AM|

[[*The Fading Soul*]]

Name: PARADOX
Bdae: MARCH 87,22
Nicks: nahh..
Skool: College Central BIshan
Contact: fareshah@hotmail.com
Status: ATTACHED

[[*My Adores*]]

Food: SR CAKES
Drinks: Apple Juice
Pastimes: Blogging, Werkin, Shoppin, WINDOW Shop, Spend Money, Movies
People: MUMMY DADDY TOT BRO SIS SHAAKIR BB

[[*My Detests*]]

People: PATHTETIC DESPERATE PPL
Things: ......
Food: .......

[[*Music's Playing*]]

//visit Iwebmusic for music

[[*My Past Memories*]]

[[*The Conversations*]]

[[*My Friends*]]

[[*Credits*]]