[[*PARADOXICATED*]]

Sunday, December 31, 2006

[[Disenchanted............]]

FROM YOU TO ME...:

Well I was there on the day they sold the cause for the queen
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen
I hate the ending myself
But it started with an alright scene

It was the roar of the crowd
That gave me heartache to sing
It was a lie when they smiled
And said, "you won't feel a thing"
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting

Yeah yeah, oh

If i'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (all night long, all night long)
And will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learned a god damned thing

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heroes
Sell a car on tv
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show 'em what we all mean

Yeah yeah, oh

If i'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (all night long, all night long)
Now will it matter long after I'm gone
Because you never learned a god damned thing

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you

So go, go away, just go, run away.
Now where did you run to?
And where did you hide?
Go find another way
Price you pay

Woah oh, Woah oh...

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you, come on

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you

At all
At all
At all
At all
.
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.
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.
.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|3:00 AM|

Saturday, December 23, 2006

[[it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart]]

-You dont even noe the meaning of the werds im sorry, u said u wld love me until u die, as far as i noe, ur still alive..-
-Shakira-

Im back...its bn 2 wks now..honestly bn putting off everything n concentrating on my self theraphy...

evrsince i got back, the toilet's like my second home..i donnoe wads up wit my tummy but..thats juz the way it is..

==========================================

I ve bn doin lots of thinking on stuff...stuff thats bn happenin to me this yr... from school and work and examz n friends...it hasnt bn easy..but it hasnt bn all bad too... although i wish i could have done certain things differently i noe it all happened fer a reason..not neccessarily a blessing...but the reasons were all well, good.

Sometimes, i wonder wad lies ahead of me...time has passed so quickly that i realised im actually running out of it. Dreams n goals not fulfilled, the timing just feels so off.

Im not actually getting any younger...according to plan im supposed to get married in 5 yrs time....but now, i donnoe...i don even noe if i wanna get married..

heh..i cant believe im actually toking bout marriage...-end-

Life dont actually gets easy...well,nobody said it would. Im not sayin i live a hard life..but maybe im just makin it harder for myself.

over the yrs, i actually catch myself not having the same outlook on life i promised i ll stick to.

it just gets harder...
n harder...
n harder..

Untill one day, i decide
ill just snap..

n be on my own again...

no, i cant let that happen...

but then again...i might just...
-paradox-

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|5:59 PM|

Saturday, December 09, 2006

[[BALI=BAD IDEA]]

There are reasons fer wad i did... it wasnt some vile attempt or accomplishment..it was innocence you noe...

-matchbok romance-

A few more hours n im off to Bali...wasnt really looking forward to this thing..reite from the beginning i kinda knew i was gettin myself into more stress then sleeping through school. but hey...an oppotunity to get outa the house..hell! y not?..

I wasnt really into packing n stuff....so i was putting it off through the last wee hours of the morning of my escapade..but no...i just couldnt.

Yeah she brought me through the whole packing thing..no she didnt packed..she was naggin all the way..it was just sooo tiring to hear...sooo frustrating...sooo irritating.....am still putting it off...

i just love procrastinating..im sooo not da prepared type of person...i just..i guess i was just not really looking forward to this? i suppose soo..

Tots not sending me off..yah i noe ur geting back at me coz i dint send you off...but yeah wadever...u got ur dikir thing n papaz all tite wt petrol...im just sooo sick of it!

but ill miss you...i promise.

Its heartaching leaving home n my family like this..i noe its just fer a week..shez scoldin me..aint happy at all...but wad do you want me to do....im tired..ive got no money..n ur not giveing me a break..n i love my stuff....i just cant find the time to get to it rite ...rite now..

let me just figure out my life here fer a sec.pls.

It aint fun leaving fer a trip feeling n looking ike shit! its just not gonna make anything good outta the trip...

is it too late to..umm...back out...?

THESE daes i just feel im not strong enough to do anything ... mentally and emotionally.

i screwed my test..n i didnt care...id rather not noe how i do.

i almost screwed skool......almost didnt care....

wad issit wit me..?

i donnot noe...

its bad..rite?

the worst thing about all of this is....

i knew none of it was good fer me.

c ya in a weekkk.............

-paradox-

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|12:28 AM|

[[*The Fading Soul*]]

Name: PARADOX
Bdae: MARCH 87,22
Nicks: nahh..
Skool: College Central BIshan
Contact: fareshah@hotmail.com
Status: ATTACHED

[[*My Adores*]]

Food: SR CAKES
Drinks: Apple Juice
Pastimes: Blogging, Werkin, Shoppin, WINDOW Shop, Spend Money, Movies
People: MUMMY DADDY TOT BRO SIS SHAAKIR BB

[[*My Detests*]]

People: PATHTETIC DESPERATE PPL
Things: ......
Food: .......

[[*Music's Playing*]]

//visit Iwebmusic for music

[[*My Past Memories*]]

[[*The Conversations*]]

[[*My Friends*]]

[[*Credits*]]